Love Notes by Lauryn: +about

Welcome to the Lauryn Ashli blog!

Let's officially meet.

I'm Lauryn and here's my love story:

(it's long...get yourself a soda and some popcorn for this one).

I was born in Washington State in the same month and year as Taylor Swift... yes it's important I added that. As a young girl my life was slightly unconventional-especially for the nineties. My parents were divorced when I was a little over two. Although it was often times a struggle, I honestly believe it brought me closer to my parents and my little sister.

I learned to look for the best in situations.

We moved around a lot but we ended up in Utah when I was nine. There were ups and downs, but the move ended up being AMAZING. I met some awesome people, my very best friends for life... Including my husband...

On my 15th birthday I went to a hot boy's house for a party. (eek!) That was the first time I met him. I ended up at his house often after that. We talked, played ping pong, had water fights, drove around crazy in the car, etc. One night as i was leaving he so casually said, "You're not leaving without a hug." Already crushing on this hottie and he might like me back! ah, bliss. We began to see a lot more of one another, and one night he kissed me. I was 15 and horrified. So I cried and broke up with him...over text.

Yes, i cried. Yes i broke up with him. Yes it was over text.

I'm awful i know. I really couldn't believe I had been kissed. I felt so little! Naive little me, ruined by an innocent little peck. Some time had passed and by time i was a sophomore I was ready to be enjoying high school living the high life with my friends. I would see cute little Michael on the hill at lunch with all his cool friends and pizza just hanging out in the back of a pickup truck.

Gosh, he was so cool.

Whatever.

I didn't even like him.

I think.

My friend one night asked me if i would ever get back together with him. I jumped right on that.

Uh, yes. Next thing i knew we were dating again!

I loved it. It was always so much fun. All the time happiness. Eventually, the time came that the boy had to leave me. He turned 19 and it was time for him to serve the Lord. He got called to serve a mission for our church in Rochester, New York. I was completely supportive. I wanted him to do this, but the thought of him being gone for 2 entire years-just short of the amount of time we had dated-made me sick.

Sick. Sick. Sick

I went with him to the Missionary Training Center when he left (you could do that back then, now it is not permitted).

When i came home, i went right to the Lovesac in our front room and lived there. For days. Then weeks. I was hysterical. I couldn't believe it. I slept with Kleenex boxes and woke up to tissue crumbs. I missed a TON of school.

I had no idea what had i gotten myself into...

A big freakin' mess.

That's what.

Somehow i gained the composure to go back to school. I finished out my senior year of high school and could not have done it without my bestie Ky. We had a blast.. to this day she is my best friend. I love love love her. I graduated high school with a full ride to Utah State University. I didn't take it. Though I was able to find light when he was gone, I still hit low times. During one particular low night my parents came together to give me an "intervention" of sorts. They talked to me about how throughout my entire life I had shown signs of anxiety and depression and it was time I was treated.

I felt like a crazy person. I didn't want to have to take meds. I didn't want to go to a shrink.

My struggle with mental illnesses is a long story I'll talk about in a different post. Long story short, I was able to get on medication and felt so much relief.

I declined my scholarship and did something COMPLETELY out of character.

It was spontaneous and risky.

I don't know why or where it came from, but I decided I was going to go to Mexico. I went for four months, stayed with an AMAZING family and taught English to sweet little kiddos.

I grew up a ton. I got busy enough I wasn't constantly stressing over my missionary and my anxieties. I came back home and was a counselor at a youth camp. I got my first REAL job teaching preschool. I started school at the University of Utah...

and I waited.

People told me it would get easier. It didn't. People told me the second year was easier. It wasn't.

I still had many nights where all i wanted to do was go find my Lovesac and sleep. I needed him. It was so so hard. I would find myself with less tissues in the bed, but that didn't stop the random bursts of pain, spouts of tears, and heartache. I didn't want to be one of those girls... all sappy and weird about a kid from high school. But I totally was!

But I stayed TOUGH and after two years, (and four days extra too) he came home.

(i even felt relief writing that!)

I went to the airport with his family.. I was a nervous wreck! Sweating like crazy, shaking....ah.

What was I going to do!? What would happen with us? What if we ended up being too different? I watched a trail of people come off of the plane until I spotted him. This could not be happening. I was SO happy.